LOVE SIMON
Why being outed by someone else is the cruelest violations of personal boundaries, and the ultimate betrayal; denying one agency and the loss of control over their own personal narrative.
In the film, “Love Simon,” Simon confronts the kid who outed him:
“I'm supposed to be the one that decides when and where, and how and who knows and how I get to say it. That's supposed to be my thing! And you took that away from me.”
It is one of the most powerful and emotional moments in the film, emphasizing how personal the coming out experience is and the importance of having control over your own story.”
I had this taken from me too. And I have yet, 3 years later, to be able to explain any of this to my family or my children.
I wish you had the the opportunity to come out on YOUR terms on YOUR timing, and that was stolen from you. The joy of being freed from a secret you held your whole life was stolen, the ability to tell each person You needed to tell in your own way was stolen. You can't get that back. The only way to go, brother, is forward.
My ex-wife was very angry that she found out when everyone else did. That was on-purpose. She has a history of taking any story and making it hers and controlling the narrative around that story. I couldn't let her do that with my story.
I know my story had an impact on her life, but it was my story to share, not hers. She controlled the narrative around our divorce a few years earlier. I wasn't going to make that mistake again.