19 Comments
User's avatar
Douglas Petznick's avatar

We hid so much more than just who we were attracted to. We hid our tastes and choice in art and music and hobbies, so much. Since I came along a bit after you, I probably had just enough understanding and role models to realize that I could break that cycle once I graduated high school. We are soon to be a post ‘coming out’ world, where kids grow up and date and hangout with the ones they like, and it’s no big deal. I love that for them, but I appreciate the guys like you that could not escape the straight template glued on to your soul. I’m so glad to know you.

Charles Vollmar's avatar

I’m honored to know you too, Douglas 😉

Vincent Santillo's avatar

Me too. And we never told anybody because we didn't want to give the words more power. And we knew that telling someone in authority wouldn't make us safe. So sad. But you know what, we kept going. But the Straight World has a lot to answer for in their toxic hateful culture directed towards us. Just unnecessary cruelty. I'm a Happy Faggot 💯🏳️‍🌈 ❤️ They didn't win.

Charles Vollmar's avatar

Happily gay together, Vincent 🏳️‍🌈

Kyle Estep's avatar

Each and everything you have experienced made you the person you are today. A damn good man. You shouldn’t want to change a thing.

Leslie Rivera's avatar

I don’t like names like fag, but I accept it as well. We are ourselves by any name or tag.

Martin's avatar

Hey, I live in Lincoln, CA not too far from Loomis. I know what you mean about the area and the people not being tolerant of us Gay people.

Charles Vollmar's avatar

Thanks, it’s a process, hopefully soon

Charles Vollmar's avatar

Hey Martin -

After high school Loomis, my parents moved out to Lincoln off of 193 toward Newcastle. Know it well, hope it is better for you.

Martin's avatar

Thanks Charles. I really hope things are getting better for you with instagram and the other social media difficulties you have had lately.

Tom Bilcze's avatar

"No one defended me. No one comforted me. If I had heard it, there was no one to turn to." At 71, those words and people have a place in the back of my mind that I should banish. But they are exactly why I continue to write about my gay life and work for my local Pride group. You shared this story beautifully.

Charles Vollmar's avatar

Thanks Tom, keep up the good work!

Pamela Fisher's avatar

There’s a part of me that is sad I didn’t know the whole you at the time. I’m so glad that you are now able to share the whole you. What I knew and what I know now are held in my heart with great affection of the full person you are. I look forward to seeing more of your creative pursuits as you continue to grow those amazing parts of you. It’s joyful for me to see your heart break free from societal and family bullshit boundaries. As always, you remain fully in my heart. Sending you love. Always.

Charles Vollmar's avatar

I am so grateful to have re-connected after such a long separation and we can still find peace with where we were, and where we are. Your unconditional support is so appreciated and means the world to me.

You get me, you always have and I’m blessed to know you.

Leslie Green's avatar

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs

Leslie Rivera's avatar

Great reflection and revelation. Amazing you are !

Diane Furlong's avatar

Charlie, Kyle expressed exactly what I was thinking but wasn’t sure how to word it.

Thank you Kyle!

Charlie I’m pretty sure we’ve all had life experiences where we try to second guess or wonder “what if” something went a different way. Sheesh I know that I have.

You’re pretty Dang awesome just as you are and after reading this, I kept thinking that now I’d love to hear you Sing 🎤 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m not minimizing the experience that you

shared here, trust me. 🫶

Michael Weinberger's avatar

This is what straight people will never understand, how we had to hide ourselves and how hard it is to come out

Charles Vollmar's avatar

Hopefully something I or others write, or say, will help.